I recently met a friend at a Pub, and after a few minutes came upon an acquaintance of his. The conversation was long and comfortable and we talked about topics informal and private circumstances of our past. The acquaintance said he had no relations of any kind with their parents (living) for more than ten years. I did not want to think about the reasons and any judgments about the events that led to this break incurable. Me and my friend responded with phrases and arguments of circumstance and we talked about lighter topics, but we were enveloped by a sense of wonder and anxiety that lasted for days. In some cases, if the stories of life were marked by trauma, by quarrels and repressed hatred and resentment, detachment is a painful scar. In family relations and in the relations of the couple and also in friendships and conflicts cut for claims, remains, even at a subconscious level, in the claim and in pain, memory and desire repressed, miserable and grim, to know something of who was once dear. The hypocritical curiosity persists in knowing if those who were dear, suffer or are incurred in painful events. In this case, although the curiosity was not expressed, we realized that he had listened to a funeral detachment with the paradox that we talked about human beings. The simple answer is the hatred that generates cold and calculating power conscious pride.

The most abysmal doubt that continued to spin around my head was not so much an analysis of a son did not want to see their parents, what about future consequences. There are those who have elderly parents with a progressive deterioration of health conditions, where the old age port in the road of pain and finally death. Some are orphans from an early age. Usually the presence of parents is considered obvious, though over the months, they often begin to suffer from minor ailments, more and more widespread and intense. And if they do not appear in the Earth, each one has thought and doubt of having lost the time that was not shared. The same parents who attend every day, at a time when there is a tragic event, they have the regret of not saying important phrases, real and heartfelt. The sense of inadequacy is common and it also reflects the way we live. The end of days for others, makes us think of our departure; the time has already passed and the constellation of opportunities easily achievable, but for laziness, superficiality and ignorance, we have returned to an imaginary future.

Alicja Bloch. The Image is taken HERE

The disappearance of the parents is fully understood in the days to come, in which everyone is measured by the daily rituals and celebrations of the seasons. Do not have a contact with their parents, implying a temporal leap, because the role of the son is stopped at a point in the past or in a gate of the mind, where we expect to enter to repeat the episode of detachment. The absence of cause a permanent closure, although the “dead” still appear. The problem, then, is the moment when you know or come to know that there are more.

What can happen after the final mourning?

A first answer is that all the past appears in front, with all the anger and pain that can not be resolved. In addition, perhaps, it appears as an empty feeling excruciating mixed with helplessness. There is a risk that the structures deposited over the years in building the dam of the division, might collapse. And what we encounter then?

Tom Bennett , Sleepwalk 20, 2010, The image is taken HERE

What happens in addressing the dead for the second time? What happens when the meeting is final? Such deficiencies hurt us?